Value: Resiliency

Behaviors

Self-reliance, patience, group mindedness


As Strategy To

Conflict Management


Stories

Three years of crop failure resulting from induced winter of 1816 when Mt Tambura volcano erupted in Indonesia leads to move to Palmyra without Joseph Sr. Joseph, 10, on crutches, left to die, Lucy saves family from robbery.

My husband now determined to change his residence. Accordingly, we moved to Norwich in Vermont and established ourselves on a farm belonging to Squire Moredock. The first year our crops failed, and we bought our bread with the proceeds of the orchard and our own industry. The second year they failed again. In the ensuing spring, Mr. Smith said that we would plant once more on this farm, and if he did not succeed better, we would go to New York, where the farmers raise wheat in abundance.

This next year was like the preceding seasons. An untimely frost blighted the vegetation, and being the third year in succession in which the crops had failed, it well nigh produced a famine. This was enough. My husband was now altogether decided upon going to New York. One day he came into the house and sat down, and after meditating some time, he said that could he so arrange his affairs, he would be glad to start soon for New York with one Mr. Howard, who was going to Palmyra. “But,” said he, “I cannot leave or you could not get along without me. Besides, I am owing some debts that I must pay.”

I told him I thought that he might call upon both his debtors and creditors and by so doing make an arrangement between them that would be satisfactory to all parties. As for the rest, I thought I could prepare myself and my family to follow him by the time he might be ready for us. He accordingly called upon all those with whom he had any dealings and settled up his accounts with them, but there were some who neglected to bring forward their books, consequently they were not balanced, or there were no entries made in them to show the settlement; but in cases of this kind he called witnesses that there might be evidence of the fact.

Having thus arranged his business, Mr. Smith set out for Palmyra, New York, with Mr. Howard. My sons Alvin and Hyrum followed their father with a heavy heart some distance. After the departure of my husband, we toiled faithfully until we considered that we were fully prepared to leave at a moment’s warning. We soon received a letter from Mr. Smith requesting us to make ourselves ready to take up a journey for Palmyra immediately. A messenger soon arrived with a conveyance for myself and my family.

As we were starting out on this journey, several of those gentlemen who had withheld their books in the time of settlement now brought them forth and claimed the accounts which had been settled, and which they had, in the presence of witnesses, agreed to erase. We were all ready for the journey, and the teams were waiting on expense. Under these circumstances, I concluded it would be more to our advantage to pay their unjust claims than to hazard a lawsuit. Thus I was compelled to pay 150 dollars out of the means reserved for bearing our expenses in traveling. This I made shift to do and saved sixty or eighty dollars for the journey.

A gentleman by the name of Flagg, a wealthy settler living in the town of Hanover, also a Mr. Howard, who resided in Norwich, were both acquainted with the circumstances mentioned above. They were very indignant at it and requested me to give them a sufficient time to get the witnesses together, and they would endeavor to recover that which had been taken from me by fraud. I told them I could not do so, for my husband had sent teams for me, which were on expense; moreover, there was an uncertainty in getting the money back again, and in case of failure, I should not be able to raise the means necessary to take the family where we contemplated moving.

They then proposed raising some money by subscription, saying, “We know the people feel as we do concerning this matter, and if you will receive it, we will make you a handsome present.” This I utterly refused. The idea of receiving assistance in such a way as this was indeed very repulsive to my feelings, and I rejected their offer.

We set out with Mr. Howard, a cousin of the gentleman who traveled to New York with Mr. Smith. I had prepared a great quantity of woolen clothing for my children; besides I had on hand a great deal of diaper and pulled cloth in the web. My mother was with me. She had been assisting in my preparations for traveling. She was now returning to her home in Royalton, where she resided until she died, which was two years afterwards, in consequence of an injury which she received by getting upset in a wagon while traveling with us.

When we arrived there, I had a task to perform which was a severe trial to my feelings, one to which I shall ever look back with peculiar sensations that can never be obliterated. I was here to take leave of that pious and affectionate parent to whom I was indebted for all the religious instructions as well as most of the educational privileges which I had ever received. The parting hour came. My mother wept over me long and bitterly. She told me that it was not probable she should ever behold my face again. “But, my dear child,” said she, “I have lived long. My days are nearly all numbered. I must soon exchange the things of earth for another state of existence, where I hope to enjoy the society of the blessed. And now as my last admonition, I beseech you to continue faithful in the exercise of every religious duty to the end of your days, that I may have the pleasure of embracing you in another, fairer world above.”

This parting scene was at one Willard Pierce’s, a tavern keeper. From his house my mother went to Daniel Mack’s, with whom she afterwards lived until her decease.

After this I pursued my journey, but it was only a short time until I discovered that the man who drove the team in which we rode was an unprincipled, unfeeling wretch by the manner in which he handled my goods and money, as well as his treatment of my children, especially Joseph. This child was compelled by Mr. Howard to travel for miles at a time on foot, though he was still somewhat lame. We bore patiently with repeated aggravations until we came twenty miles west of Utica, when one morning we were preparing as usual for starting on the day’s journey. My oldest son came to me and said, “Mother, Mr. Howard has thrown the goods out of the wagon and is about getting off with the team.” I told him to call the man in. I met him in the barroom, where there was a large company of travelers, both male and female, and I demanded his reason for such a procedure. He answered that the money which I had given him was all exhausted and he could go no farther.

I turned to those present and said, “Gentlemen and ladies, please give me your attention for a moment. Now, as there is a God in heaven, that wagon and horses, as well as the goods that accompany them, are mine. This man is determined to take away from me every means of proceeding on my journey, leaving me with eight little children, utterly destitute. But I forbid you, Mr. Howard, from driving one step with my wagon or horses. And here I declare that the teams, goods, and children, with myself, shall go together to my husband and their father. As for you, sir, I have no use for you, and you can ride or walk the rest of the way as you please; but I shall take charge of my own affairs.” I then proceeded on my way, and in a short time I arrived in Palmyra with a small portion of my effects, my babes, and two cents in money, but perfectly happy in the society of my family.

The joy I felt in throwing myself and my children upon the care and affection of a tender husband and father doubly paid me for all I had suffered. The children surrounded their father, clinging to his neck, covering his face with tears and kisses that were heartily reciprocated by him.

After assassin shoots at the boy Joseph but hits family cow, family protects Joseph.

At the age of fourteen an incident occurred which alarmed us much, as we knew not the cause of it. Joseph being a remarkably quiet, well-disposed child, we did not suspect that anyone had aught against him. He was out on an errand one evening about twilight. When he was returning through the dooryard, a gun was fired across his pathway with evident intention of killing him. He sprang to the door, threw it open, and fell upon the floor with fright.

We went in search of the person who fired the gun, but found no trace of him until the next morning when we found his tracks under a wagon where he lay when he fired. We found the balls that were discharged from his piece the next day in the head and neck of a cow that stood opposite the wagon in a dark corner, but we never found out the man, nor ever suspected the cause of the act.


Sources

Young Joseph by Ivan J. Barrett p. 25-31

History of Joseph Smith By His Mother by Lucy Mack Smith p. 68-72

History of Joseph Smith By His Mother by Lucy Mack Smith p. 76 

Value: Conflict Management

Behaviors

Problem solving towards harmony; justice; mercy, fairness, solution-thinking, personal sacrifice, win-win, group mindedness; patience; deferred gratification, building self-reliance in others


As Strategy To

Cohesion, Family Work, Family Recreation


Story

As a 15-year-old, Joseph Smith wrestles with a man who had attacked and beaten a woman.

I’ll tell you a story. A man who whips his wife is a coward. When I was a boy I once fought with a man who had whipped his wife. It was a hard contest but I still remembered that he had whipped his wife and this encouraged me and I whipped him till he said he had enough.


Source

Young Joseph by Ivan J. Barrett p. 1

History of the Church 5:285

Value: Cohesion

Behaviors

Interpersonal communication, loyalty, love, listening, empathy, sharing, personal sacrifice, charity, goal sharing; expressiveness; Community & family service; personal sacrifice; “work, play, and worshiping together-time”; building others; listening; self-reliance; solution-thinking; justice; mercy; patience, conflict management


As Strategy To

Religiosity


Story

Fourteen year old Kathrine takes gold plates from Joseph, bandages his injured right hand. Kathrine hides plates in bed with Sophronia and her pretending sleep while mob searches the house.


Source

United by Faith by Kyle Walker p. 310-313

 

Smith Family Values

By Dr. Craig R. Frogley

We were gathered for some family fun. It was game time but, by design, the game, more than amuse, would change outlooks and perspectives of our family members. Each person was given a slip of paper to defend. On each slip was a word: lights, indoor-running-water, indoor bathroom, electricity, heater, stove, refrigerator, etc. All were then informed that there had been an earthquake and one of the items would be permanently lost. There was lively debate as each person defended his or her item. Once the successive disaster and ensuing discussions were finished and preferences had narrowed, only one item remained – electricity.

This process and discussion were followed with more slips: mother, father, bishop, uncles, aunts, cousins, brothers, sisters, etc. Then again with more: eyesight, hearing, touch, walking, use of arms, use of hands, etc.

Each round included the item, person, and finally the value left from the previous round. Without exception the preferred item or person became among the first to be eliminated with the introduction of new items, which became increasingly personal and value oriented. When we were done defending, agreeing, voting, etc. we had each clarified what was most important by imagining what life would be like without it as compared to others of life’s puzzle pieces. In reality, life’s experiences and adversities give us this same opportunity until we live according to what we value most.

So, what is a value? The Webster’s on-line dictionary includes:

…past participle of Latin valēre to be of worth, be strong. 

7: something (as a principle or quality) intrinsically valuable or desirable…

What causes one thing to be valued or valuable and part of our lifestyle, and other, seemingly desirable things, unvalued? Some things are so valued that we are willing to change behavior or forego opportunities to adhere to them. Things that may seem of value to some are passed over by others as worthless, either by decision or ignorance. For example, the principle of honesty would motivate one person to forego opportunities to personally profit, while another would gladly cheat, steal, etc. in order to gain. Is it perspective or training, tradition or understanding that gives things or principles their value? The cheater, for example, might happily get paid more than something is worth, only later to find that he has lost a customer. He may find that he is always suspicious of others and consequently has created an internal culture of non-trust amongst his relations and contacts. Perhaps you want some benefits enjoyed by an acquaintance, but if you don’t see or understand the connection between the benefit and their beliefs and actions, you may be unwilling to discipline your own behavior (sacrifice other valued habits), and thus lose the desired benefit. If only you knew how to change a principle into a personal value, then it would become natural to you and the benefits would be yours for the long term.

One suggestion is to see the idea of “values” as a triangle:

values_image_1.gif

I may understand the benefits of being honest to my self and the community but if I loved immediate profit more, and thought that I could get away with cheating or stealing, I would behave according to the profit value rather than the honesty value. Later when the thrill of acquisition was past and the need for trust became pressing, then being honest could eventually change the feeling component of my triangle sufficiently enough to generate honesty as a consistent personal value. This has been called “Values Clarification” as in the afore mentioned game. We often gain understanding, and thus learn to love a principle, in the study or practice of behavior consistent with the value. In the effort to impart values, it has been shown that values are better caught than taught.

This planting “family values” into young hearts becomes ever more challenging as the world gains direct access to budding appetites through media and technology. That so many would directly seek profits using any means that appeal to appetite stimulation, regardless of the moral side effects, creates significant opposition. Research has repeatedly shown that adopting key family values can dramatically assist families in this vital contest for the minds and hearts of the rising generations and protect our children from the critical generational consequences. Modern family science research has identified several key common values in successful, cohesive families that, like good trees, have been judged by their fruits.

Families differ on so many levels that determining the success of one family as compared to another can seem like comparing mangoes to kiwis. But even diverse fruits can be judged by their nutritional value rather than their appearance. Though parental failure and success might be difficult to measure, there are well-studied characteristics and values, common to happy productive (measures of success) parents, children, and ensuing posterity. However, rendering a “failure judgment” also assumes that all efforts to assist family members towards becoming productive in society have ended, and that progress, or any hope of it, has ceased. Parents have not failed until they have given up, so a historical study can give valuable insights since the effects over several succeeding generations may be available.

Since family influence is not over until all has ended, a study of the fruits of a multi-generational family from historical research could be most informative. This, especially since the family studied for this article, is the first family of the last dispensation. Thanks to gracious permission of Dr. Kyle R. Walker, I will extract the family values he has identified in his PhD thesis available here or here. He specifically targets numerous historical accounts of this effective nineteen-century family. His doctoral thesis is entitled in “A Family Process Analysis of a Nineteenth-Century Household”. Quotations, unless otherwise noted, are taken from this thesis.

From a well-established list of examined processes, characteristics and values, Dr. Walker highlights six inter-related categories that are easily identifiable within historical records and that don’t require an interview with the family to evaluate. These include cohesion (unity), conflict management (problem solving towards harmony), resiliency (ability to bounce back), religiosity (faith and works), family work, and family recreation (play, family together time, singing, discussion, etc.). On closer examination some of these could be defined as values while others seem to be strategies/behaviors used to implement the values. Perhaps that is because these values are so intertwined in creating successful families in that the behavioral aspect of one value becomes a strategy for implementing another.

It can be said for example, that a cohesive family is one that manages conflict effectively and is resilient after crises, and thereby successful. Though cohesion is itself a value, one can ask what values fuel cohesion and provide reproducible results in other families? Likewise, just as managing conflict and bouncing back are to be valued, they are also strategies towards cohesion. It can then be asked which management strategies are more measurably effective in both meeting stress and bouncing back from its culminating crises? For example, Dr. Walker noted that those families that valued religion (internally and externally) managed conflict and were resilient to life’s crises more effectively than those who were not religious. So though religious belief is a value, it is also perhaps the “understanding-MIND” component (from the triangle) that persuades family members to sacrifice personal benefits towards resolving conflict because they are motivated by a link to higher causes (More on this later.) Likewise, family unity (a value) was enhanced as the family worked and played together – both values that served as cohesive strategies that enabled unity.

Though not strategically incorporated by our early Smith family as a result of any schooling, these specific strategies can be seen today as applicable for parents seeking direction in the ongoing battle for family effectiveness. For our purposes, we will call them Smith Family Values – though they were hardly exclusive to them.

It cannot be stated too often that these and all values are best caught rather than just taught. I will examine each of them individually.

COHESION:

Dr. Walker defines this value as an emotional bond between family members. In another study discussed by Dr. Randal A. Wright, this bond is amplified and strengthened when the parent is outwardly and verbally expressive.

This value produces a unified family where parents and siblings develop interpersonal communication, loyalty, service, and love. Today’s struggles with the realities of two-spouse employment, demanding children’s sports and lesson schedules, rising divorce rates, a variable economy, etc., family cohesion has been replaced with family survival. Which often degenerates into individual survival, making family cohesion seem like a myth.

In the face of these realities one might ask if family cohesion is just old fashioned or if there are advantages that would help the parenting process and secure the children into valued productivity. We note that many studies abound that show, for example, a young woman’s sense of security, modesty, self-esteem, etc. are each tied to her relationship with her father. Or, that a young man’s respect for girls and women, sufficient to over-ride his budding hormonal saturation, is aided by the respect manifest in the relationship between his mother and father. The profound respect that Joseph Sr. and Lucy held openly for each other is frequently demonstrated, as in one example where Lucy writes, “The joy I felt in throwing myself and my children upon the care and affection of a tender husband and father doubly paid me for all I had suffered.”[1]

Children’s willingness to listen to others or share personal property develops through being listened to by non-judgmental parents who they see making personal sacrifices to provide for them. Joseph Sr. and Lucy were found, without fail at the bedside of sick and suffering children, literally waiting upon them through the night. Their first lessons on charity, sacrifice, community service, and other cultural strengthening behaviors, which in the future will make them valued citizens, are learned in a cohesive family. If parents value family togetherness and unity (heart, mind, and strength) then children catch that value, for values are better caught through experience than taught with words!

Father and Mother Smith caught cohesion as a value from their parents. Asael Smith not only exemplified this value in his parenting but also spoke and wrote about it as he could see his life ending. He wrote:

“…know one another. Visit as you may each other, comfort, counsel, relieve, succor, help and admonish one another… Join together to help one another.”[2]

The Mack family story includes successive sisters tending each other’s sick-bed over extended periods, brothers sharing large sums of money with sisters, etc.

The Joseph and Lucy Smith family history is rich with stories where this cohesive relationship was extremely self-sacrificing and binding. When one person struggled, all struggled with them. They were a very unified family, which allowed them to accomplish all that continues to influence millions for good today.

Perhaps a modern parent struggling with the teenager who desires to be with friends rather than family might ask, “What behaviors might encourage cohesiveness or unity?” In using Dr. Walker’s four included and different professional models for measuring family conditions, it could be recommended that to augment a family’s cohesion-value parents might add the following connected behaviors: goal sharing; expressiveness; intra-family service/sacrifice; “work, play, and worshiping together-time”; building others; listening; self-reliance; solution-thinking; justice; mercy; patience; etc.

To summarize this value, one might visualize again a possible component triad:

values_image_2.gif

With consistency over time the value of family cohesion will be caught and lived as a natural consequence of the resulting lifestyle.

FAMILY WORK

As one can see, the family values of family work and recreation also become strategies for internalizing family cohesion (unity). It is through meaningful time spent together, that bonds are formed. When family members engage in work that yields a mutual benefit, not only is communication time increased but also a sense of common purpose develops, as there is a sense of mutual help, synergy, and accomplishment. If on the other-hand the benefit is unilateral, benefiting only one side, resentment may develop.  Youth may not be capable of appreciating the long-term or even near-term benefit of family work time without help. The value-triad can be of assistance; the parent works to make sense using language and examples that speak to the young person’s understanding and feeling levels. By way of experience, a parent might demonstrate synergy by opening an old watch and showing a pile of watch parts. The value of the parts total but a few pennies while the watch may be worth hundreds of dollars. Because the parts work together in unity, each doing their own work, the watch value is multiple times more than the non-integrated parts alone. Then short term benefits can be provided for those with short attention spans, after short work periods, like points that can add up to purchasing power of something they already value such as items, food, time allowance, etc. will complete the triad and grow within the child the value of family work-time. A garden will benefit the family budget but if a child has nothing to do with paying the bills the benefit won’t seem mutual even with explanations.  The Smith Family worked together for survival. When they struggled financially all family members felt the effects. The oldest, Alvin, eventually found that he had earning power through hiring-out that allowed him to return and contribute to a new family home, barn, etc. with the desire to help the family “live more comfortably, particularly his parents.[3]” All family members caught this value of laboring together for the common good of the family thus binding them together in common purpose.

FAMILY RECREATION

Just as family work increases the bonding time between family members so it is with recreation. So why should we separate them as values? In a work atmosphere the relationship between family members is generally hierarchical: teacher-student, boss-worker, oldest to youngest, biggest to smallest, etc. Though this time together is a valuable bonding and learning time, the natural relationship hierarchy can prove inhibitory as well. While work primarily bonds the minds, and yields a product, recreation bonds the hearts and strengthens relationships. Of course there is overlap and what one might call work another considers recreation or relaxation. For the hard-working survival-driven Smith family down-time included; reading, singing, wrestling, jumping at a mark, stick pulling, cooking, work bees, quilting, family gatherings, letter writing, going to town, hunting, shooting, mock battles, dances/balls, picnics, pie-suppers, husking bees, parties, community feasts, national and church celebrations, barn-raisings, sleigh-rides, etc. The unstructured, and inherently enjoyable nature of theses activities served to bond the hearts, improve the minds, and physically strengthen the participants, thereby increasing family cohesion (unity and bonding). Some activities were serendipitous or spontaneous while family participants carefully planned others.

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

The enemy of family cohesion will be conflict arising both within and outside of the family. If a family member feels used, cheated, conned, injured, omitted or otherwise abused in any intra-family relationship, personal justice or fairness most likely will become the driving value. Inexperienced family members driven by reactive impulses will engage in fracturing behavior unless conflict resolution, as one of the behaviors of the cohesion triad, has also been caught as a value (including its accompanying skill-set). It becomes not only a value that has potential cohesive benefits but is also a means to the personal benefits of solution-thinking that satisfies the need for justice in the eyes of the offended.

Someone once noted, “Easy work is hard work, done late”. If conflicts are managed at the onset with cohesion as the motivating family value, then injury is prevented, avoiding the need to seek for justice. Add in the value of service/sacrifice, and the drive for justice can be transformed into a process rather than an event.  For example: One sibling breaks another sibling’s cell phone. If the offended sibling values the relationship more than the phone and is willing to sacrifice immediate replacement while the other sibling repentantly accepts the responsibility to replace the phone, mercy will satisfy justice. That maturity won’t come naturally, but with time and consistent modeling, teaching, and experience it will grow and flourish under these shared family values.

Are there other skills that enable conflict management? We have noted that the willingness to sacrifice, and be patient are necessary values that all have thinking, feeling, and behavioral components.

As such, understanding that personal sacrifice is an investment rather than a loss changes the negative feelings associated with loss.  The purposeful strategy, in which one then skillfully engages, enables long-term solutions. Results include enhanced cohesive relationships that bind family members together.

Patience likewise becomes a deferred gratification[4] skill yielding valuable potential long-term benefits. In a follow-up study referenced in the footnote, it was found that the skill of delayed gratification is one that can be taught by learning to change focus, to self-distract. Children and adults who could learn to refocus their attention from their wants to almost anything else, allowed them to wait for benefits that only come by waiting.

Though conditional relationships can lead to disappointments in the short-term, if cohesion (unity/bonding), patience, and personal sacrifice are combined under the driving value of building other’s self-reliance then disappointment simply becomes a signal, calling for continued and different skills and effort.  In part, the motivating component of the “building self-reliance in others”-value is to understand that building others is a means of personal growth. Since building others always builds self in the long run, the feeling becomes that of a “get-to” attitude that enhances the relationship, even in the face of inadequacy, stubbornness, error, hurt, and loss.  All intelligent beings are capable of growth when an effective influence strategy is discovered. When working to change or improve others, one must be willing to start with self-improvement.  It is a behavior skill linked to the value of conflict management, and driven by the value of cohesion.

RESILIANCY

Even with the best conflict management skills, families can be overwhelmed when crisis occurs. Resiliency is a value that says, “We may be down but we are not done.” It includes the understanding that “failure is only an opportunity to start over with greater intelligence” (Henry Ford).  Whether faced with “significant experiences or major life adjustments, such as emotional disturbances, unexpected changes, or major disruptive events (i.e., death, divorce, disabilities),[5]” the question of resiliency is one of why some families recover while others “break down or disintegrate under the same circumstances.”  What “characteristics, types, patterns, supports, strategies, and interaction with the community lead to family recuperation”[6]? In our Smith family the process of financial failure, followed by starting over, was repeated with each move and each farm, from Vermont to New Hampshire, New York, Ohio, Missouri, and Illinois until there developed an “us against them” mentality that bonded them together even across the generations and long distances. Cousins continued, even in the face of religious disagreements, to visit each other, send money when needed, and communicate through letters. All of the values thus far discussed contribute to this deeply seated resilient nature of enduring families. That said, one additional value historically and statistically seemed to drive or at least enhance them all.

RELIGIOSITY

Religiosity can be classified into public and private[7]. Public religiosity includes going to church, praying in public, social gatherings, service and outward charity. While private religiosity, includes personal prayer and scripture study, a sense of relationship with deity and devotion to personal discipleship. Though modern studies link lower economic status with higher rates of religiosity they also show that higher rates of private religiosity increase a person’s capacity to manage conflict, rebound from crisis, and unify relationships regardless of one’s economic status. From a “values paradigm” it is perhaps beneficial to ascribe this to something more vital than a simple compensation for greater socio-economic conflicts.

Seen this way, religiosity becomes more than a coping mechanism or a behavior stemming from another value.

The Smith Family’s relationship with their God seemed to grow more intimate and devoted with the passage of the generations, culminating in the sacrifices required, as they followed the course of their united religious movement referred to as “The Restoration” (stemming from young Joseph’s vision experience). In almost all modern analytical studies[8], a sense of higher purpose gives power to cope with difficulty and conflict and the resiliency to rebound again and again.

values_image_3.gif

But Religiosity seems to go beyond this. It is the one value that seems to failsafe one’s efforts and desires to balance difficulty and success. All temporal things from houses to families, from jobs to portfolios, from possessions to positions, from churches to clergy are temporary in that they are vulnerable to failure, crisis, and frailty. When religiosity becomes the central value, all other values not only spring from it as part of their triad, but also find endurance through it. In linking one’s relationship to God’s infinite capacitating wisdom and purposes God becomes the stabilizing, non-corruptible center, sourcing one’s strength, wisdom, intelligence, and judgment.

 

values_image_4.gif

 


[1] Kyle Walker, PhD; The Joseph Sr. and Lucy Mack Smith Family, A Family Process Analysis of a Nineteenth-Century Household; A doctoral thesis in the Philosophy, Marriage and Family Therapy Program, School of Family Life, Brigham Young University 12/200; p46, footnote 83

[2] Ibid p21

[3] Ibid p79

[4] Wikipedia; The Stanford marshmallow experiment[1] refers to a series of studies on deferred gratification in the late 1960s and early 1970s led by psychologist Walter Mischel then a professor at Stanford University. In these studies, a child was offered a choice between one small reward (sometimes a marshmallow, but often a cookie or a pretzel, etc.) provided immediately or two small rewards if he or she waited until the experimenter returned (after an absence of approximately 15 minutes). In follow-up studies, the researchers found that children who were able to wait longer for the preferred rewards tended to have better life outcomes, as measured by SAT scores (Mischel, Walter; Yuichi Shoda, Monica L. Rodriguez (1989). “Delay of gratification in children.” Science 244: 933–938.), educational attainment, body mass index (BMI) and other life measures. (see Wikipedia for further references)

[5] Ibid Walker p8

[6] Ibid Walker p8

[7] Ibid Walker p9

[8] Ibid Walker p9

 

Reunion T-shirts available

Joseph Smith Family Reunion T-Shirt

T-shirts from the reunion are still available for purchase from Sleep in Heavenly Peace.

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Family Home Evening Resources

As mentioned by Karl Ricks Anderson at the Joseph Smith Sr and Lucy Mack Smith Family Reunion on Friday, August 3, 2018, these posts will contain resources for families to use for Family Home Evening lessons which include stories from the lives of our family that will lift, inspire, and provide practical solutions to challenges faced during our every day lives.

 

Please return often as new material will continually be added.

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Be Part of the Smith Family History

 

 

Click above to view the podcast, Dreaming of a Heavenly Home by Dan Adams

The Joseph Smith Sr. and Lucy Mack Smith Family has been meeting together since 1972 and look how we have grown.  We have the chance to experience and learn how our ancestors trials  allowed them to glimpse eternity and have the strength to endure life with hope. Come be part of history.

Register by Saturday, July 21.

Links:

Joseph Smith Sr and Lucy Mack Smith Family Reunion History in Pictures

2018 Online Reunion Agenda

Order Reunion T-Shirts

Reunion Fact Sheet  (parking and building entrance instructions)

Our service project will take place right next to the Pioneer Pavilion #7 on the map.

Plan ahead to be part of our family photo. Leave early if you have trouble getting around and meet at Mary Fielding Smith’s Cabin # 47 on the map. You can walk there or take the train to the stop by #44 T by the Native American Village. It is a short walk from there. Just follow the directions on the path.

Link for: This Is The Place Heritage Park Map

 

The Joseph Smith Sr. and Lucy Mack Smith Family Association is working with Sleep In Heavenly Peace for our summer’s service project.

Please click this Lehi Chapter link and fill out the Sleep In Heavenly Peace Release Form online to participate.

Sleep in Heavenly Peace

Reunion Service Project

Or contribute by mail with checks or money orders to:

Joseph Smith Sr. Family Association
c/o Frances Orton
381 W 3700 N
Provo, UT 84604

Make a notation on the check: Sleep In Heavenly Peace.

 

Lucy Mack Smith Shawl

The Spring 2018 Smith Newsletter featured a Paisley shawl belonging to Lucy Mack Smith. These shawls were extremely popular in the early 1800s. The cone or almond shaped designs came from East Asia. Because so many shawls were produced in Paisley, England, the almond pattern came to be called a Paisley pattern.

Lucy’s black wool shawl is large enough to cover a bed or to be folded over and worn as a winter coat.

Pattern Activity

If you want to participate in this activity please sign up. This activity will cost $3.00 per white iron-on vinyl transfer (10.5 inches wide and 3.75 inches tall). You also need to provide and bring the fabric item you wish to place the Lucy Mack Smith Shawl Pattern on.

For those who are unable to build a bunk bed you can bring and donate solid colored pillowcases. We will provide a Smith greeting vinyl message to transfer on your donation.

Reunion Activities

Reunion News – April 27, 2018

Scholarship Contest

The Joseph Sr. and Lucy Mack Smith Family Association is offering annual scholarships to college, high school and junior high students who are planning to attend college or similar institution.

Up to $1,000

Deadline is July 1, 2018

How learning about the values and sacrifices of Joseph Sr. and Lucy Mack Smith’s family can help me and my family honor their legacy.

Applicants do not need to be Smith Family descendants to enter. For more details go to https://josephsmithsr.org/scholarship/.


Inside the Smith family home in 1818, which was their second home in Palmyra.

  • The reconstruction is located on the site of the original.
  • The eight witnesses saw the golden plates in a grove near the log home.
  • Joseph’s first visit from Angel Moroni was here.
  • Joseph lived here at the time of the First Vision which occurred in the woods behind the home.

“Dreaming of a Heavenly Home”

Joseph Smith Sr. and Lucy Mack Smith Family Reunion

August 2-5, 2018

Reunion Registration Is Now Open!

Click on the above registration link or use: https://josephsmithsr.org/reunion/registration/.

You can look forward to:

  • Thursday night registration will be held in the lobby of the Church Office Building.
  • Friday morning, we will have a family gathering at the Conference Center’s Little Theater. The afternoon will be open for individual family groups to take tours and enjoy time together. In the evening we will have a family dinner in the lobby of the Conference Center. This is a unique opportunity to sit down and enjoy a meal together as one large happy family group. A devotional will be held after the dinner in the Conference Center’s Little Theater.
  • Saturday, we will have our service project, family memorial and photo, and a picnic lunch at This Is The Place Heritage Park at 2601 East Sunnyside Ave. There will be free time in the afternoon to enjoy This Is The Place Heritage Park. Saturday evening, we have a family meeting in downtown Salt Lake at the Assembly Hall.

Then of course we will have our last gathering attending Music and the Spoken Word on Sunday.



The Spring Family Newsletter Is Here

We had an unfortunate mix up on the database and we are sorry for the confusion with the newsletter mailing. You may have received someone else’s name to your address. We apologize for the error. We hope you understand that we won’t be able to resend the newsletter.

The pattern used on the cover of the newsletter was taken from a shawl that belonged to Lucy Mack Smith under the design work of Danielle Maddox.

We have attached a copy of the Spring Newsletter to this email blast. You can also view this information here: https://josephsmithsr.org/newsletter/2010-2019/spring-2018/.


Joseph Smith Sr. and Lucy Mack Smith Family Association Is Working with Sleep In Heavenly Peace

Sleep in Heavenly Peace

The Joseph Smith Sr. and Lucy Mack Smith Family Association is working with Sleep In Heavenly Peace for our summer’s service project. Sleep In Heavenly Peace was featured this month on a program called Returning The Favor. Please watch this clip https://www.facebook.com/ReturningTheFavor/videos/2020109721593621/ and see why their team stopped by Twin Falls, Idaho to meet Luke Mickelson who started Sleep in Heavenly Peace, an organization whose mission is to ensure that no child in their town ever has to sleep on the floor.

 

Click to donate toward our service project.

Or contribute by mail with checks or money orders to:

Joseph Smith Sr. Family Association
c/o Frances Orton
381 W 3700 N
Provo, UT 84604

Make a notation on the check: Sleep In Heavenly Peace.


2013 – This Is The Place Heritage Park

2014-Independence Temple Lot

2016 – Nauvoo Smith Family Cemetery


Steve & Frances Orton
Steve: steve.ortonio@gmail.com
Frances: ortonfrances@gmail.com
c/o Steve and Frances Orton
381 West 3700 North
Provo UT 84604

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Coming Soon In Emma’s Footsteps

From the writer of Singing with Angels and the Joseph Smith Jr. and Emma Hale Smith Historical Society, this new movie is coming to theaters June 1 in Utah. For other areas, please send us a request. See the trailer below!

After the martyrdom of Joseph Smith, Jr., his wife Emma Hale Smith was left with much to shoulder: salvaging Joseph’s estate, the safety of her family, her own grief, and growing isolation as danger and rumors increased. Through the eyes of one of her sons and Lucy Mack Smith, Emma’s struggles are shown with new light and understanding, revealing a courageous woman who stood as a pillar of strength for her family.

Send us your request for where you would like to see the movie, and see what areas we are already planning to show In Emma’s Footsteps!

LOCATIONS

 

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